New Bike vs. Old Bike, FIGHT!


can you feel the heat from my undercarriage?

So I'm at the mall, and all the stress of trying to pick out the right navel jewlery for me has me sucking down coffee by the liter.  I step outside of Claire's to reflect on all of my options, and decide to take advantage and make a quick trip to the bathroom, right?  I get into the bathroom, and it's one of those really long, narrow joints; urinals along one wall, stalls along the other, and almost enough room for two fellas to walk past each other without getting hell of intimate, but not quite.  Anyways, the last stall in the row is the one that's more accessible for folks in wheelchairs (interesting choice on the part of the bathroom designer (what a crappy crappy occupation)), it's being used, and there happens to be a dude who actually is in a wheelchair waiting to conduct some business in it next.  I'm only in this scene for a number one, so I just find a vacant urinal and do the thing.  While I'm one'ing though, this big guy comes in to do a one also, sees the guy in the wheelchair, freezes (you can hear the gears turning in his head, and he's just barely spinning the granny ring with a bone dry chain), and then, real sheepishly like, asks him "you in line for a urinal?"

After that, the whole vibe of the place was just ruined.  And things were going so well...

And that brings me to bicycles.  New bicycles, in particular.  Particularly my new bicycle, if we're getting really particular.  And my particular new bicycle is, if you haven't guessed it based on the name of this website, a Speedvagen.  Or it will be.  Right now it's, like 60% of a Speedvagen or something.  There's no seat tube on (in?) it yet, so I guess the technical term for it is "100% of a Softride," (Vanilla boys' joke, not mine).  Anyway, it's a work in progress, but I can't wait to ride it once it loses the Softride status.

Here's the thing, though.  I'm getting a new bicycle, but I already have a perfectly capable old bicycle sitting finished at home.  It's got a hot-pink-to-metallic-purple-fade paint job, it's light, it's carbon, and by all measures there's really no reason to stop using it.  Stop using it I will, though, and gladly.  New bike > old bike, it's kind of a fact; no need to justify it.  Sometimes, though, I think there are truly legitimate reasons to shelve a quality rig in favor of a new one, reasons beyond fresh beating used.  Today I feel like it would be fun to make a list of some of those reasons.  Let's do that.

1.  Old Bike is really dirty
2.  Old Bike doesn't accommodate your current fit evolution as well as it could
3.  Old Bike has a never ending list of places to hide creaks, and it births new ones at the same rate you find the old ones
3.  New Bike will have a paint job that will make Old Bike blush
4.  Old Bike has been crashed and may or may not have cracks that you may or may not think about when you're going over 45
5.  New Bike is built by a friend
6.  New Bike will finally allow you to use that long, -17 degree stem you've been daydream about
7.  Old Bike seems to get more flat tires than other bikes, particularly in races, and while you know it's not Old Bike's fault, you can't help secretly holding a grudge
8.  You're pretty sure New Bike won't get any flats
9.  Old Bike is just dying to become Funky Time Trial Bike
10.  New Bike will get you more boys/girls (whichever you prefer, or both) (or real dolls, if that's better for you)

I think that if you can check off 3 things from that list, you've got a bulletproof argument for a new bike, even if the old one is still going strong.  Furthermore, if you can check off #10 then you don't need any others to justify your new bike acquisition; you're solid gold.

old bike.  trusty and dope.

Now if it sounds like I'm dissatisfied with my old bike, I'm not.  That rig did 2 years of race duty (60+ races, I'd estimate) with no complaining.  It saw me through an expedition into a ditch on Germantown at about 35mph, and came out the other end in one piece and with almost all of it's paint and fibers.  It handled super duper fast, which is exactly what I wanted when I signed up for it.  It probably could even still be satisfying number 10 on the list, if I was just a little bit taller (holla, Skee-Lo).  So I've got nothing against that bike at all, in fact I still love it.

But I am stoked as hell about my new bike.


The Tiniest Sprinter

PS:  Did you notice that the Gentle Lovers have won 50% of all Oregon road races so far?  Not bragging, just thought you should know.
PPS:  Kind of bragging, actually.  Big ups, Markwelder!
Posted on March 8, 2012 and filed under Uncategorized.